• we should hang out sometime 🙂
  • it's fine.
  • never mind, I'll do it myself

Babe. He didn't get it because you didn't say it.

Done Chasing gives you 1,000+ word-for-word texts for the moments you usually overthink: when he says "sometime," cancels again, goes quiet, or finally steps up. Every reply comes in three flavors, so you sound like you on a good day. Never like a doormat.

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Instant PDF download · 264 pages · 1,080 replies

SOFT · PLAYFUL · CONFIDENT
Done Chasing: 1,000+ Texts That Get Him to Step Up, the book cover
Quick quiz

Have you sent any of these this month?

Then you stared at your phone. Re-read your own message to check the tone. Waited. And wondered why he just doesn't get it.

Maybe this sounds familiar:

Before you know it, you're his mom, his assistant and his calendar app. And somehow romance never made the to-do list.

This isn't a you problem. It's a strategy problem.

Your boyfriend is not your intern.

The shift

Most of the time, you don't make the first move. He does.

Your job is to reply in a way that makes him want to keep moving. That's the whole book. It isn't a list of clever texts to send first. It's the exact words to reply with when he texts, plans, forgets, pulls away, apologizes or finally steps up.

And when he hasn't moved at all? You plant a seed. You say what you'd love, once:

Not this (it's a task)Can you book the restaurant by Friday?
This (it's an invitation)I'd love for you to take me out this week.

Then you stop. No follow-ups, no reminders, no "so… are we still doing this?"

Every script plays by six rules

  1. Let him lead.
  2. Say what you'd love once. Then let it rest.
  3. Make him the hero.
  4. Stop over-functioning. You're not his planner.
  5. Receive big. When he delivers, let him see you light up.
  6. Stay honest. No jealousy games, no fake plans, no silent treatments.
Yes, I want the scripts →
Straight from the book

Stop sending this. Send this.

Five real before/after replies, word for word from Done Chasing.

When he saysWe should hang out sometime
NotYes! I'm free Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday.

You just planned the date for him.

Send insteadI'd love that. Plan something and I'm there.
When he saysIdk, what do you want to do?
NotWhatever, I don't mind.
Send insteadSurprise me. I'm very easy to impress when you try 😉
When he saysI'm just not a big texter.
NotWell, you could try.
Send insteadThen call me. I like your voice better anyway 😏
When he saysI'll do it later.
NotWhen is later?
Send insteadLater works. Just make sure later actually happens 😌
When hegets lost in a game during dinner
NotSilently fuming.
Send insteadHello, handsome. Your dinner date is over here 😉
Every reply, three ways

When he says "We should hang out sometime":

SoftI'd really like that. Let me know what you have in mind.
PlayfulI'd like that. I'll let you work out the details 😌
ConfidentI'd love that. Plan something and I'm there.
Two sample pages from Done Chasing. Each situation shows what he says, what you'd usually reply, why it backfires, and Soft, Playful and Confident replies to send instead.
Real pages from inside the book. Every situation, three ways to reply.
Get all 1,080 replies for $27 →
What's inside

A 264-page playbook for the texts you overthink.

264pages (PDF)
40real situations
1,080word-for-word replies
3versions of every reply

There are about 320 "When he…" moments across 10 sections. Each situation follows the same simple structure: The move (the strategy in one line) → Plant the seed → When he… (what you'd usually reply, why it backfires, what to send instead) → Stop doing this → Why it works → If it keeps happening.

SoftWarm, gentle, very sweet-girlfriend.
PlayfulFlirty, teasing, a little bit trouble.
ConfidentCalm, certain, zero apologies.
  1. Getting Him to Make PlansTurn "sometime" into a real date (not just "come over"), and get more effort and more planning ahead.
  2. Getting More Attention & EffortMore texts and calls, more affection, and getting his attention off his phone.
  3. Defining the RelationshipWhat are we, exclusivity, being acknowledged publicly, meeting his friends.
  4. Getting Him to Follow ThroughBroken promises, lateness, cancelling, and "I'll change."
  5. Getting Help at HomeChores, the mental load, doing it without being asked.
  6. When He Pulls AwayTexting less, distance, "I need space," and stress that shuts you out.
  7. Setting Terms & Saying NoHow he talks to you, protecting your time, and what you won't accept.
  8. Getting Him to Open UpMore than "fine," what's bothering him, his feelings, his past.
  9. Making Up After a FightRestarting, getting a real apology, apologizing without groveling.
  10. Talking About the FutureWhere this is going, families, moving in, engagement.

Plus "Start Here" (why what you're doing isn't working) and a closer called "You Were Never the Problem."

The contents pages and the Start Here page of Done Chasing
The contents pages and the "Start Here" chapter.
Soft is not the same as a doormat

Warm is not the same as available. Soft is not the same as silent.

Some of these replies are very sweet, but nothing in this book asks you to accept less. You won't agree that you're "too sensitive." You won't apologize for things you didn't do. When he snaps, mocks you or keeps cancelling, at least one reply in every card says, kindly and clearly, "not like that."

Being easy to love is the goal. Being easy to walk over is not.

The honest part (most books skip this)

These scripts work best on a man who likes you, wants you happy and is capable of showing up. He might be a little clueless. He might text like every message costs him money. A clearer signal often helps a lot.

What no script can do is make someone care if he doesn't. So if you say it warmly and clearly, step back, and he still doesn't step up? That's not a script problem. That's an answer. Either way, you're done hinting.

Is this for you?

This is for you if…

  • You're dating someone, or in a relationship, and you're tired of doing his part.
  • You want to ask for what you want without nagging, hinting or a three-hour "talk."
  • You want to stay warm and feminine and keep your standards.
  • You overthink texts and want words you can copy, tweak and send in 10 seconds.

It's not for you if…

  • You want tricks to make him jealous or play games. (Rule six: no games.)
  • You're looking for a magic text that makes someone commit after he's already shown you he won't.
  • You don't feel safe with your partner. A book of texts isn't the right tool for that, and you deserve real support. Please reach out to someone you trust or a local support line.

Questions

Is this manipulative?

No. Every script is honest. There are no fake plans, no jealousy games and no silent treatments. You're saying what you actually want, clearly and once, and then letting him show you who he is.

I'm not flirty. Will the Playful replies feel weird?

Then use Soft or Confident. Every reply comes in all three flavors on purpose. Pick what sounds like you on a good day and tweak a word or two. You're not supposed to sound like the book.

Does it work if we just started dating? What if we've been together for years?

It's written for both. It goes from early dating (turning "sometime" into a real date, figuring out what you are) to living together, chores, the mental load, making up after fights and talking about the future.

What if I try it and he doesn't change?

Then you've learned something important, and quickly. The book is honest that it can't make anyone care. What it does is stop you doing his part, so you finally see what he does on his own. Results depend on both people, and no book can promise how someone else will respond.

Do I have to read all 264 pages?

No. Read "Start Here" (about 6 pages), then jump to whatever situation you're in tonight. It's built like a reference you come back to.

Is it a physical book?

No, it's a digital PDF that you download right after checkout. Read it on your phone (handy when he's mid-text), tablet or computer, or print it.

How do I get it after I pay?

Checkout is handled securely by Gumroad. You'll get a download link on screen and by email right away, and the PDF stays in your Gumroad library so you can download it again anytime.

What if I have trouble downloading it?

Email hello@thevelvetletters.com and we'll fix it. Because Done Chasing is an instant digital download, all sales are final, so have a read of the free sample replies above first. (See our refund policy.)

Stop hinting. Say it once. Let him step up.

You don't need him to complete you. You need him to match you. These are the words for asking him to.

Get Done Chasing for $27 →

Instant PDF download · 264 pages · 1,080 replies